Halloween in Germany

Halloween stopped being all that exciting for me when I was 13 and my dad told me I couldn't go trick-or-treating anymore because I was too old. So while my friends went around the neighborhood collecting candy from strangers I started a new tradition: stay at home and watch Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein with your finger on the pause button, jumping up every 5 minutes to answer the door and hand out candy to appropriately aged children. After 9 years of this I can mouth every joke along with the film. But if there's one kind of comedy that doesn't translate to German it's Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein. Double entendre directly translated into another language and based around a collection of colloquialisms some how isn't funny.

But despite having my family tradition crumble around me I was determined to bring a little American to this holiday. I'll do Christmas their way, they had it first. But Thanksgiving and Halloween are from North America, post hoc, ergo propter hoc: my deal.

Thankfully American Halloween has somewhat seeped into German culture already (Thanksgiving I'm going to have to build from the ground up).

The kids carve pumpkins every year--we just had to work on the idea that carving pumpkins is something best done on the kitchen floor and pumpkin seeds are for saving, baking and eating.

All the time Prim was carving this one I couldn't stop singing "this is Halloween, this is Halloween" which they apparently play on repeat in Europa Park (the Disney Land of Germany)

I did manage to convince them that in absence of decorations we would have to decorate sugar cookies, which went over remarkably well and which were gone remarkable quickly (I sent half of them home with the friend who came over to decorate with us).

Cookies

More cookies

Favorite cookie. It was delicious.

Costumes are a part of German Halloween already, but they choose their costumes the day before from whatever they can find around. There are decidedly no party stores in Germany, and costume stores? Forget about it! But even the parents got in on the action: a group of the adults dressed up and went to a Scottish bar apparently. At least this was the justification I was given as to why everyone got home so late and was singing "Loch Lomond" in the morning. The one thing markedly absent: skimpy costumes. Everyone I saw was well layered and wearing gloves because it's cold here and they are reasonable people.

There is one thing adorable about German Halloween that I wish Americans would adopt: they don't say "trick or treat". Instead the group of kids or one kid comes up with an original poem or rhyme that says something about their costume and their desire for candy. I didn't understand what they were saying at all, but they did work for their chocolate and it was totally adorable.

The one thing German Halloween is totally missing out on: Halloween movies. They have the Disney channel, they have R.L. Stein, but they don't show Halloween movies even on the telly, even on Halloween. This seems a terrible waste to me, especially as someone has gone through the trouble of properly dubbing Hocus Pocus for German children.

All in all Halloween went by in a fairly normal way. I brought in a little more American to the holiday, then failed to do anything on the actual day and ended up turning off all the lights on the first floor and playing guitar because I didn't understand I was being left at home to hand out candy to groups of rhyming German children.

Why Gossip With Your Neighbors Is A Good Thing

I've been in Germany all of 2.5 months, and I just now had my first, non-awkward, open conversation with the neighbors. Until today I tried not to intrude on any of them. But sometimes a nice lady comes to your door because the kids just got picked up (#notagain), and offers you a coffee. A much better prospect than packing my "not going to Belgium" suitcase.

And so we coffeed and chatted. Within 3 minutes the conversation began to center around why I'm leaving. As I feared, my host mother is going around spreading the world that I had issues with the kids, didn't like them because they were so young, and have decided to leave in order to work with a family with older children. Let me state now for the record that that is in my opinion a total and complete falsehood. Though in giving her the benefit of the doubt I'm hoping this is Tina's version of positive spin for her.

For me it's hurtful and degrading. It makes it sound like this was my idea, that I initiated it, and like I've been miserable for the last 2.5 months. My truth: Tina came to me, she initiated it. I decided to leave because I felt (FEEL) misunderstood and even more than that, I feel that they don't WANT to understand me. And I didn't have a clue what I would be doing at the time I decided to quit. I thought I might go work with horses. That I will be with another family is a result of independent thought, not a reflection of my current situation.

On the bright side I was repeatedly backed up by both neighbors about everything: the parents personality, the kids behavior problems, that they don't need an Au Pair, that they haven't given me a proper chance, that this is both strange and unjust in terms of employer-employee decorum, and that I am not the problem. There's a part of me that feels bad, listening to others talk about my family and adding to that conversation. But there's a part of me that also feels relief. For the third time I have been fully supported by people who are objective partakers in my leaving. I am starting to know more than just believe, that I am not the problem here.

Now gossiping with neighbors is dangerous and can lead to bad blood, so I'm thinking I won't be sharing this blog with Tina and Mike. Ever. But if you're having an issue or feeling admonished or defeated or disrespected, speaking with the neighbors can give you an objective opinion that is not based around social decorum and subjective support, but honest feelings from people who see you live your life every day. Especially when these people are Germans. Germans don't give a damn about hurting your feelings with brutal honesty. Who'd waste their time with that?