If you've read the posts from about 2 months ago you'll know that I had a few really awful weeks with my first family that ultimately ended with me leaving. At the time they said they wouldn't be looking to get another Au Pair and I thought this was a good idea because they certainly didn't need or want me in their family and no one should move across the world to live like that.
But in keeping tabs on them today I discovered that they are seeking another Au Pair. And I have no idea how to react to it. Mainly because I have zero recourse in the matter.
This was a family I worked hard to be a part of, I didn't fit with them, I left and on not so good terms. I have a lot of frustration and concern about their search for a new Au Pair. It's a bit like going through an uncomfortable break up, where no matter how mutual it is, when you meet the person they're dating now you feel an uncontrollable urge to chase them down the street shouting "WARNING!" at the top of your lungs. You've been there, it sucked, you want to inform others that they should not go there unless ready to face x, y, and z.
Ultimately, even if I had a way to comment on their profile or get in touch with their fresh applicants I know it wouldn't do much good. Like the current girl friend who is warned by the ex, most would brush it off as that crazy Au Pair they had before who was just really not a good person and probably unstable. But I wish that I could let them know just the same.
It's a really difficult thing, being an Au Pair. You're not part of the family, but you're there all the time just like an older sibling. You're integral to the functioning of the household (hopefully) and yet totally replaceable. You know this family today, better than anyone, but if you left tomorrow they wouldn't belong to you or exist by your description any longer. It's especially difficult to be an Au Pair when things aren't going so well or you are about to leave, when all of these things are true in the same moment.
Sometimes I wish I had listened to my dad, gone straight to grad school and was busy teaching in a New York public school right this moment. This isn't easy, it's more difficult than I thought it would be. I can only hope that when you're paired with the right family, the end result is worth a year of turmoil.
By the by, if I could add an amendment to Tina and Mike's profile it would go like this:
"I spent 3 months living with the (family name omitted)'s and getting to know all four of them quite well. They are a loud and vivacious bunch who are certainly true to their Bavarian roots. I think the only affects 4 years living in the states had on them is that Mike bakes the family's bread and all have a propensity for Cars. I decided to leave this family, ending my contract early, after Tina told me that I wasn't fitting in well and she didn't think she could live with me. 90% of this I chalk up to a bad match made by all of us. I am a quiet person, though rowdy and playful with kids, I like reading, I need alone time, I take daily walks because my head gets clogged with thoughts, and I enjoy observing and listening at the dinner table more than talking. I am generally emotionally reserved. And the cherry on the cake? I am confident being this person, because this is the true me. Now take that description, flip it on it's head and that's Tina. You can see how this would be a bad fit.
"If you're looking to join this family I would make a few suggestions as to who you are: talkative, with everyone, all the time, day and night; a work in progress as a person--maybe it's your first time away from home, your first time in a foreign country, you don't speak the language, some insecurity that can be a project for you and Tina to bond over; love, love, love really little kids--every single child I met in Germany acts 2-3 years younger than their American equivalent, so if you're used to American independent 6 year olds be prepared for a 4 year old; and finally I would say that this family would work best with someone who is very open about their emotions, happy, smiling and bubbly the vast majority of the time, not at all concerned with crying in front of the whole family, and who displays every emotion readily on their face. If you fit that description you will likely find yourself having the easiest job in the world with this family."
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