For me, deciding to leave was the end to a week of stress, self-doubt and tea. Having gone over and over what Tina had said to me about her doubts in my relationship with the family I was left feeling like the family didn't understand me as an individual and wasn't going to try to. Quitting gave me relief from all of this. 13 more days of being so entirely incomprehensible to the people I live with? Fine, I can handle that.
However I think my decision threw them for a loop. We decided on an end date nearly 4 weeks out. The first few days everything was the same. The boys didn't know yet so we definitely played it cool all day. And at night we all had things to do which kept us preoccupied. Then they left for a week of vacation. On coming back all of their behaviors changed, and not all for the better.
The boys know I'm leaving now (they were told without me and without warning me), and it hasn't changed them so much other than they're sad about it. Two weeks is an eternity when you're 3, but we'll see what it's like when it's 2 days, or a couple of hours.
Tina is really excited for this new opportunity, and seems more comfortable having me here when my length of stay is more akin to a guest than a family member. But she's also become much less obliging and eager to participate in my current life, and more willing to make requests of me (FINALLY). She no longer wants to go with me to the visa office. I'm taking the bus there today, by myself without warning her, though she had previously insisted she would drive me (also they were going to pay the 100 Euros for the visa and now I am. It's fine, but another behavior change). With regards to the cell phone and health insurance she's also standoffish even when I ask explicitly for her help.
Mike, in contrast to all, has become rather distant and terse. It's a professional relationship with him now, not friendly at all, but it makes the breakfast table a little awkward.
For my part I'm doing my best to be consistent with everyone. From the beginning I avoided having a "honeymoon phase" but tried to be honest about what my behavior would be like, who I am, and how my personality works in this family. I'm glad for that now, though at the beginning I could feel Tina waiting for the other shoe to drop, like if I would stop making my bed, or keeping stuff clean, or picking up after the boys, or reading bed time stories. I haven't stopped yet and I'm not planning to in the next few days. To the befuddling of Tina and Mike.
What I'm left wondering is a) what they expected me to do? (I certainly felt like they had pressured me into quitting and just refused to fire me, forcing me to make the call); b) if the behavior changes are a result of me quitting or me leaving?; and c) if they still would have acted this way if it was 7 months from now and I was getting ready to leave as we had planned?
13 days to go. Then travel, a visit from my dad, and a new family.
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